so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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