I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
