Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
People in love make me want to vomit
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
