So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
sarcasm needs its own font
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
