Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
