mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
