Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
