Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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