There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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