i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
