Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
