I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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