ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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