You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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