you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize