OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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