dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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