Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
