Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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