Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This beer is not sobering me up at all
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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