Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
