i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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