I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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