wat bout pragnant strippers??
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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