Nicole vs. Life
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
