i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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