You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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