Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
