Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
