It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
