i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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