So drunk its hurt
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
