Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize