I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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