it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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