I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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