im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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