Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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