Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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