Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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