Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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