it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wear drunk well.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
