I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
