When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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