Who did Billy Mays play for?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
