Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket

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  (978): he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket http://tfl.nu/jdxn
  Replies (42) Good night (706) Bad night (4811)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.

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  (248): I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial. http://tfl.nu/t70i
  Replies (12) Good night (7205) Bad night (1061)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you

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  (317): so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you http://tfl.nu/m0v0
  Replies (31) Good night (8090) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can get orange kush...

  (586): View more from Michigan

  GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!

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  (313): I can get orange kush... (586): GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?! http://tfl.nu/voiy
  Replies (32) Good night (6545) Bad night (1549)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.

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  (780): I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/nb18
  Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (977)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom

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  (226): We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom http://tfl.nu/piiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1480) Bad night (4767)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.

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  (303): You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool. http://tfl.nu/uc3l
  Replies (12) Good night (2040) Bad night (1563)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

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  (720): I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship" http://tfl.nu/hte5
  Replies (14) Good night (1389) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...

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  (434): Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave... http://tfl.nu/1k20
  Replies (13) Good night (2498) Bad night (895)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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  (503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc
  Replies (9) Good night (764) Bad night (1495)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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  (301): Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke? http://tfl.nu/hphp
  Replies (11) Good night (1165) Bad night (505)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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  (210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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  (802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised

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  (614): i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised http://tfl.nu/gtie
  Replies (1) Good night (266) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time

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  (724): You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time http://tfl.nu/hrwv
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (391)

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