Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

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(813): why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?! http://tfl.nu/lcio

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(303): View more from Colorado

This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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(303): This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free http://tfl.nu/nn6t

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(214): View more from Texas

I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me

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(214): I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me http://tfl.nu/9k7n

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(705): View more from Ontario

I love having hate sex.

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(705): I love having hate sex. http://tfl.nu/fz63

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(440): View more from Ohio

We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

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(440): We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls. http://tfl.nu/q9cr

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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(401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!

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(814): My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!! http://tfl.nu/fx6s

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(907): View more from Alaska

You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.

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(907): You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn. http://tfl.nu/73y5

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(541): View more from Oregon

theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?

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(541): theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house? http://tfl.nu/uvha

Replies (12) Good night (659) Bad night (1949)
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(512): View more from Texas

Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.

(512): View more from Texas

Wont she be proud, Hailey.

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(512): Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting. (512): Wont she be proud, Hailey. http://tfl.nu/kwv4

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(702): View more from Nevada

Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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(702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1

Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (197)
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(425): View more from Washington

My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small

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(425): My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small http://tfl.nu/0a34

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Why am I wearing a dog collar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.

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(336): Why am I wearing a dog collar (1-336): Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic. http://tfl.nu/ep7j

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.

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(405): In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day. (405): I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me. http://tfl.nu/iy6i

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

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