Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
