problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
