Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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