idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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