what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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