better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
