He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
