I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
