I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
