i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
