Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
