Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
