So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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