put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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