Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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